We Win When We: Let Go of Worry
Anxiety disorders are the most common disorders in the United States affecting nearly 40 million people, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. It is a highly treatable problem. It is not uncommon for those suffering with anxiety to also suffer with depression. Both anxiety and depression warrant use of various coping skills, including medication management at times, to successfully work through it. Let’s look at the psychology behind worry and begin to let go of worry.
How to Start to Let Go of Worry
When we worry, we look at things as if they are not going to work out. We win when we let go of worry, negativity and control. We already project that a “worse-case scenario” event will take place. In psychology, we call this ‘catastrophizing’ or saying ‘what if…something bad happens’. This type of thought-process and internal dialogue is problematic. Rarely, do we think of positive things happening or ‘what if….something great happens’. In fact, what if you looked at a current problem and thought to yourself how happy and grateful it was that the situation happened because you are better for it? Imagine you growing from having gone through it. Take some time and think about a time when a situation happened to you but it was not until one day, one week, one year or five years later that you realized you went through it for a reason and you came out on top. If we have a different perspective and that perspective being, you experienced exactly what you were meant to experience in order to become who you were meant to become, would you worry at all? When you gain skills and resources to look at life’s next challenges in a positive light, you could be winning. When you ‘what if…something wonderful happens’, you change your line of thought altogether by inviting positivity into your life. When you adopt this type of thinking, you finally allow yourself to be free and let go or enjoy life more than ever before.
Resisting negativity is a way of life for some people. Other people are carrying around negativity like it’s their job. They store up emotions and stuff anger. Some people live their whole life blaming others, feeling like a victim, acting as if someone should come to their rescue or giving them what they are entitled to without putting in the work. Still others live in a world of lying, manipulation and addiction. Negativity can take a major hold on you and consume your every thought, action and feeling. You can get pulled into the great abyss of negativity or if you are the negative carrier, you can pull others in with you, deep down the rabbit hole. Worse yet, you don’t even have an awareness that you are the negative carrier. If you are aware of your negativity, you can do something about it. Acknowledging it is the first step. Awareness and education allow you to start pinpointing when and how you are falling into negativity. The second step is learning how to let go of it. The first method would be by figuring out how to overcome worry or despair and how to untwist some of your thinking patterns. If you have not signed up for this FREE ebook: CLICK HERE on ways to untwist your thinking. By resisting negativity and working to change it, you are taking a huge step against the darkness that most of us battle.
Letting Go of the Need to Control
When you let go of trying to control others, you start opening up a whole new perspective to your life. The only person you are in control of is you. Think about the time you would have if you only focused on your own decisions. Think about the decrease in stress you would have. Think about how many more boundaries you would have in place if you leaned how to say ‘no’ to others in order to prioritize self. There is a lot of unnecessary worry in and around the desire or need to control others. In fact, we are all in this journey called life to make mistakes and learn from them. By giving up the need to control others, you allow various events to fall into place. This goes back to the first principle. When you surrender or let go of the need to control others, you let go of worry.
Fighting Off Perfectionism
Perfectionism can be a path where you choose to be very hard on yourself. Perfectionism does not exist in any of us, but yet it does exist in all of us. This journey in life can be an interesting one. When you choose to worry or choose to be hard on yourself, you are actually inviting less productivity, less effectiveness and less happiness into your life. By striving for perfectionism (or your idea of perfectionism) you are creating worry, guilt, shame, despair in and around these ideas that do not have merit. Basically, it is a plethora of negative emotions stirring around your head about things you need to worry about, complete or control in order to be ‘perfect’ or ‘good enough’. When it comes to a prosperous life, the right idea would be to strive to be perfect in your own way, in a happy way. When you are without worry, working on self and managing these negative emotions through rational thinking, you are more productive, effective and happier.
Moving Forward After Letting Go
Moving on from worry and letting go of it is a process that takes time. There is not a quick fix. However, when you put forth effort in being more aware of your worry-related or controlling-type-of-thinking you are embarking on the first step. For example, by working with a counselor or reading about irrational thinking patterns (also referred to as twisted thinking) you are taking the first step on learning not only how common twisted thinking is but how to start identifying it. By working on identifying your twisted thoughts, you then can thought-stop and use tricks to overcome it. You can untwist your negative thinking. CLICK HERE on ways to untwist your thinking. This commitment to more stable-minded or goal-oriented thinking is not for the faint of heart. It takes trust in you, time to polish and commitment. When you think you can, you can.