Have Happy Thoughts
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Let’s get real simple here. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or CBT is based on the notion that your thoughts and feelings are related to the actions you choose. These thoughts and feelings ultimately may lead to mental health problems if you see things in an irrational or unstable perspective. The notion that you might be seeing yourself, the world and other people’s actions in such ways as irrational or twisted might make you question your interpretation of events and situations. That is exactly what I am challenging you on. Try to look at your interpretation of events from an objective (non-emotional) perspective. The challenge for you is to have happy thoughts. How do you do that? Keep reading…
Twisted Thinking Takes a Toll on Everyone
Take Control of Your Own Happiness
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How can you take control of your own happiness? The mind/body connection is a powerful connection and by understanding how your body’s actions are connected to your thoughts and feelings, you will start to understand how your body gestures can command your happiness. Emotions show through our bodily sensations or reactions. At times, emotions creep up so quickly and naturally that it feels nearly impossible to control them. However, there is the possibility to control your emotions. First, you have to become aware of them. Emotional awareness is a step towards understanding the physiology related to happiness. Do you have ‘butterflies’ in your stomach when anxious? Have you ever felt a lump in your throat, a shiver or trembling in your hands when scared? Can you sense your teeth clenching or redness in your face when angered? Although these physiological responses might happen naturally, there are others you can do to ‘fake’ your happiness. Whatever you do, take control of your own happiness.
Physiology and Our Emotions
In 2013, Finnish researchers studied different emotions and the body’s responses. This research probed 701 participants to experience various emotions. Then, the researchers asked them to color in a body map of where they felt a marked increase or decrease in activity due to feeling the emotion. (Nummenmaa et al., 2013). See the images below of the findings: Read more
Find Your Self-Worth
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In Philip C. McGraw’s book called Self Matters, he references a chapter about labeling. Labeling is a not only something you say to yourself inside your head with your critical voice, but it is also something that others say about you. Labeling has a powerful influence over your psychological development. It can define your self-worth.
Labeling can be living in your subconscious. Labels come from the outside world and inside your mind. Your labels are important because it is the inner core of what you believe about yourself. “Label” means a term of classification. However, you could benefit from looking at these labels to understand your self-worth.
Labels are Judgments
Labels are judgments of self. They crystallize a type of self-characterization. Labels allow someone else to define you based on a personal, perhaps biased perception. You either allow others’ labels to creep inside your head to become a form of self-characterization. Do you beat yourself up by listening and believing what others are assuming about you?
Whether labels are true or not, there is a certain self-fulfilling prophecy that happens with labeling. When you pay attention to labels, there is a prediction that is somewhat made. That prediction can lead you to continue with those types of credits or continue to live life in that manner. Read more
Imagine Instant Happiness
As you know, most of what I do is promote happiness. There are easy and simple ways to imagine instant happiness on a daily basis. We can maintain happiness by using a certain set of skills through imagery. When you take action on a daily basis to promote happiness, you become more effective, productive and all around more interested in life. We can be kind to others, buy a special gift for someone, exercise or meditate to promote happiness. We can also use imagery or visualization to obtain instant happiness. This type of exercise, referred to as ‘anchoring’ helps you imagine instant happiness.
Anchor Your Happiness
What if you could take a pill to be happy? Well some people do, thanks to our pharmaceutical companies. But did you know that there is a way to push a button and become happier? Anchoring your happiness is a way to do this. When you anchor your happiness you are able to bring your memory back to a happy or safe place. Through this set of exercises, you will see that happiness is all within your mind and by using this simple trick, your body and your mind can work together towards happiness.
1. Think of Your Happy Place
What is your anchor? What provides you with stability, security and safety or in essence, happiness? First thing is first, think of your happy place. When you close your eyes, where you do you identify as a place that brings you peace and happiness? For some it is the beach, a harmonious home, a backyard or a place where he/she grew up. By doing this, you are encouraged to remember the smell, sights, sounds and other various details of this place. Close your eyes and focus on these types of details to help harness your inner happiness. Read more
We Win When We: Let Go of Worry
Anxiety disorders are the most common disorders in the United States affecting nearly 40 million people, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. It is a highly treatable problem. It is not uncommon for those suffering with anxiety to also suffer with depression. Both anxiety and depression warrant use of various coping skills, including medication management at times, to successfully work through it. Let’s look at the psychology behind worry and begin to let go of worry. Read more
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How To Live Your Life To The Fullest
The word lifetime means the duration of a human being’s existence. How are you spending your time? Do you know how to live your life to the fullest? Let’s talk about the word “time” in “lifetime”. Perhaps you are saying you want to have a good life, have a happy life or leave behind a legacy. Some people have children, develop their career or give back. What are ways you live life to the fullest?
Living a Full, Happy Life
The question I want to ask is, “Do you love yourself and love those around you? Have you figured out how to truly be happy in this lifetime yet?” Some people work their life away, complain daily, or find themselves in drama, unhappiness through personalization or blame. To love yourself and those around you, means you might have some knowledge about your own emotional intelligence.
Healthy perspective drives your attitude about life. Having a healthy perspective is a part of having healthy emotional intelligence. Are you the type of person that lets life passes you by? Or are you the type of person that uses mindfulness in much of what you do?
Do you look back on the last ten years of your life wondering if routine and work got the better years of you? Have you been living a life for someone else? Do you cherish moments in life and observe all that is around you?
How you see your life is based on your truths or beliefs. These truths and beliefs took a lot of time to form (mostly throughout your childhood). What you choose to put time and energy into is how you value your life. How you value your life is related to how much you love yourself and all that is around you (of which life is offering to you). If you love yourself honestly and treat others transparently, then you are on your way to being an emotionally intelligent person. Read more
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5 Tips on How to Love Yourself
How to love yourself more is a subject we do not learn about in school. Some start thinking about it when relationships fail. Perhaps you question your self-worth or self-esteem. If you have ever heard this quote: “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself first,” you might want to learn more about this in order to be in a successful, intimate relationship with another person.
Loving yourself is a process. It is a process towards accepting yourself. By learning about what makes you, you, you start the process. If you can appreciate all that you are (even your flaws), you are on your way. When you accept all that you are, you are aware and improving your character flaws. You choose to acknowledge them enough to start working on them. These flaws might include, dishonesty, inconsistency, selfishness, or poor communication.
Here are tips on how to love yourself.
Finding your True Self
When you are learning about who you are, it can be confusing. Too much time alone can bring up feelings of sadness or anxiety for some. Being along with your thoughts can at times lead to negative feelings. However, finding your true self means getting quiet with yourself even if there are challenging thoughts during that quiet time.
Knowledge is power. Getting to know who you are while in a quiet state can be powerful. Think about it. How much time do you spend being quiet with yourself for even twenty minutes per day? Many people avoid it but in reality this is one way to get closer to knowing what is important to you. While, we are constantly adapting and changing throughout our life experiences, honing in on our true self is ever-changing.
It takes time and patience. Growth itself comes from working through various experiences. By taking care of yourself, meditating, sitting or walking in nature, practicing self-care and increasing your healthy coping skills you are able to be on a path to finding your true self. Read more
How Can You Overcome Excuses Today?
Excuses are the way we avoid, resist and deny the greatness you know yourself to be. They can be debilitating to us. Excuses can be hard to overcome and lend us to live an unfulfilled life. Are you ready to learn how you can overcome excuses today? Let’s talk about the Who, What, Where, When and How of excuses. Read more
Promoting Healthy Relationships
Inviting the right people into your life might not be as easy as it sounds. There is a lot that goes into attracting the right people into our life. Negativity is all around you but if you pay close attention, you can weed out the negative people and not allow them into your life. If you are trying to become the best version of yourself, part of that is targeting the right relationships you want in your life.
How do we promote healthy relationships? We are all human and have grown up with certain influences. If you grew up thinking friends who lie, cheat, steal or use drugs is a proper way of life then there is some work to do. If you grew up with more positive role models, showing you that it is important to treat others the way you want to be treated with respect, honesty, accountability and healthy lifestyle choices, then cultivating healthy relationships might be simple.
Do You Accept the Love You Think You Deserve?
Do affirmations work?
What is all the talk about affirmations? Some people have heard of affirmations and they might have used them. Some people love them and some people dislike them but the people who dislike them might not have been using them correctly. Seriously…do affirmations work?
This can be scary territory for you. You might not like to build or boost yourself up. It could bring on feelings of discomfort. However, if you are talking to friend, it might seem natural to build or boost your friend up. This process of creating affirmations is about being your own best friend.
Without having a love affair with yourself, meaning honoring your inner-most qualities, you are going to be at a loss for confidence. Confidence means truly honoring your best qualities and being able to let them shine through to others, but it also means identifying your lesser qualifies and working on them. By working on them with the use of affirmations, you are gong to feel a kind of dissonance or disharmony. By trusting the process and embracing these statements you will soon become more confident and empowered.
A Peaceful Mind Clears Out the Clutter
In our minds, we have weaknesses, fears, vulnerabilities, regrets, guilt, and shame. We can pick out our physical traits that are comparably ugly, fat, too big, or too small compared to the next person. In our minds, we have chaotic and unforgiving clutter. As author Dan Millman writes in The Peaceful Warrior, “Take out the trash”. By clearing out the clutter, you are able to think clearer and become happier. Let’s start with affirmations. Read more